It Isn’t Just a Question of Cleaning Up
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Clutter. Junk. Mess. Disorganization. Call it whatever you want, but it’s a serious problem for some people.
It’s the kind of problem that makes people feel they can’t control their hoarding habits. It brings on a sense of shame and isolation – not to mention guilt when good intentions to get organized fail each and every time.
If you suffer from pile-ups of clutter in your life, you aren’t alone. Many people face the same issues that you do, and they have the same feelings that you have. Their home space piles up and they’re ashamed to invite friends over. They fight with their family over the mess and wish there was an answer.
“Just clean up! Buy some bins… Sort your stuff out! Get rid of it!” The advice from friends and family flies. But it isn’t that easy to take control of clutter.
Why Is This Happening To Me?
There are many reasons people hoard and gather. They range from procrastination issues, poor organizational skills, beliefs and attitudes to neurological conditions. The National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization offers many causes for chronic disorganization – and finding a way out of the piles can be challenging.
Many people don’t see items – they see emotions, reminders of people or events in their lives. They don’t see a shirt; they see their grandmother’s favorite blouse that brings on fond memories.
Some live with the “what if” attitude, thinking that they can’t get rid of an item – what if they need it later on? They hoard like pack rats, feeling better that they’ll always be prepared for any need that arises.
Still more try to compensate for a lack in other areas of their lives. Their job isn’t secure, so they try to prepare for that potential lack of income by stockpiling. Their marriage isn’t going well, and they desperately want something to fill the ache of loneliness inside.
Clutter makes the situation worse. The more we heap on, the worse we feel.
Cluttered Home, Cluttered Mind
Knowing why you hoard is one of the most important factors towards finding a solution to the problem. Your cluttered house probably isn’t the issue – your cluttered mind just might be.
Do you hang on to items because of emotional attachment? Is your home cluttered because your personal life isn’t a happy one? Are you feeling unfulfilled in other areas of your live, such as lacking love from a partner or working in an unstable job? Write a list – a long one – of all the reasons you hang onto things you don’t want or need. See if you can’t find the common thread and the real reason you’re filling up your home.
Resolving the issue means finding ways to cope with who you are, the problems you may have, and working in very small steps towards changing the behavior to healthier pattern of behavior.
Baby Steps Win the Race
Small steps are key. Abrupt change can cause additional stress and anxieties, which may make the problem worse, not better. Trying to apply fast band-aid patches like buying a ton of sorting bins doesn’t fix the situation either. You need to tackle a big problem in tiny habit changes. Get one to stick (it takes about two weeks to change a habit and another two to have it firmly rooted), and then move on to the next change.
Hoarding isn’t a choice – it’s a symptom of bigger issues or behavioural patterns. Dig down to the root of the cause, and figure out what’s really going on in your life. If you have to get help, get it. Cognitive behavioural therapy can help you make positive change and put the clutter problem behind you.
The relief you’ll feel once your life is clutter-free is worth every bit of energy you put into your efforts.
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Another reason a lot of people don’t get rid of stuff is because it makes them feel wasteful. Can you really bring yourself to throw away that flashcube from 1977 that still has one flash left? If you do, it means you’ve given up and admitted that you wasted money. As long as you hold on to it, there’s still hope…